Instead of doing all the things listed here, I thought I’d tell you not to do them. It’s only etiquette darlings.

 

Don’t tweet about going to the toilet, no matter how unusual the experience.

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Do tweet naked pictures.

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Don’t dis anyone publicly! Even if you find them totally repugnant. Just unfollow/de-friend them. What you can’t see won’t hurt/irritate-living-shit-out-of you.

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Do be yourself! Even if you’re a bit of a dullard. I’d rather follow someone a little boring than be connected with Millhouse 2.

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Don’t start arguments. Nobody wants to know ‘that guy’.

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Do be vain.. Sparingly. There’s only so much the world can handle… You obnoxious prick.

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Don’t ask someone to follow you, unless you know them on a personal level. It’s just plain rude.

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Don’t have multiple personal accounts. No one cares that much.

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Do get a profile picture! I don’t talk to my eggs for breakfast so I’m not gonna start conversing with them. Shows an absolute lack of effort.

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Don’t tweet song lyrics unless witty or genius. It’s not poignant to anyone else.

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Do be positive! Everyone loves a good moan but if your life is shit, we don’t wanna share in your abject misery. Sorry (not sorry)

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Do follow your interests.. It’s what this was invented for.

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Don’t feed the trolls… As hard as it may be not to insult, demean and put them in their place, this is what they want.

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Do take a break occasionally. There’s a big world outside the network, go enjoy it (and give your followers a break) Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

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JP xx