Instead of doing all the things listed here, I thought I’d tell you not to do them. It’s only etiquette darlings.


Don’t tweet about going to the toilet, no matter how unusual the experience.


Do tweet naked pictures.


Don’t dis anyone publicly! Even if you find them totally repugnant. Just unfollow/de-friend them. What you can’t see won’t hurt/irritate-living-shit-out-of you.

Oh no

Do be yourself! Even if you’re a bit of a dullard. I’d rather follow someone a little boring than be connected with Millhouse 2.


Don’t start arguments. Nobody wants to know ‘that guy’.


Do be vain.. Sparingly. There’s only so much the world can handle… You obnoxious prick.


Don’t ask someone to follow you, unless you know them on a personal level. It’s just plain rude.


Don’t have multiple personal accounts. No one cares that much.


Do get a profile picture! I don’t talk to my eggs for breakfast so I’m not gonna start conversing with them. Shows an absolute lack of effort.


Don’t tweet song lyrics unless witty or genius. It’s not poignant to anyone else.


Do be positive! Everyone loves a good moan but if your life is shit, we don’t wanna share in your abject misery. Sorry (not sorry)


Do follow your interests.. It’s what this was invented for.


Don’t feed the trolls… As hard as it may be not to insult, demean and put them in their place, this is what they want.


Do take a break occasionally. There’s a big world outside the network, go enjoy it (and give your followers a break) Absence makes the heart grow fonder.



JP xx